List of Short Adult Jokes

Are you looking for some short, naughty jokes? If so, then you’ll find plenty here!

Does sex have a speed limit?
Yes: 68. Because at 69, you’ll have to turn around.

What do you do when you have over 300 used rubbers?
Make a tire out of them and call it a “Goodyear”.

What do hookers and bungee jumping have in common?
They both cost money to do and if the rubber ends up breaking, you’re screwed.

Why do guys get their best ideas in bed?
Because they’re plugged in to a genius!

What’s a gay dinosaur called?
Mega-saur-ass

Good: Your son is becoming a man.
Bad: He’s secretly dating the whore across the street.
Very Bad: Just like you.

Good: Your daughter has a steady, full time job.
Bad: As a prostitute.
Very Bad: She makes more money than you.

A guy makes an emergency call to his vet.
“Please come quickly! My dog has swallowed a condom!”
About ten minutes later, he calls back.
“Nevermind! It’s okay now, I found another one!”

Why’s it so hard for a woman to find caring, handsome, and sensitive men?
Because they’re all gay and have boyfriends.

What do Disney World and Viagra have in common?
They both require you to stand around for an hour to go on a 2 minute ride!

How are marriages and twisters alike?
They both start out with a lot of blowing and, in the end, somebody loses their house.

Incest: A game that an entire family can participate in!

The egg and the chicken are lying in bed. The chicken is lying back with a smug look on its face while the egg has a look of annoyance on its face. “Well then,” the egg grumbles, “I guess we now know the answer to which one of us comes first.”

Kid: “Dear Santa, for Christmas, I would like you to send me a baby brother or sister.”
Santa: “Dear Kid, send me your mom, then.

What has 75 balls and always screws old people?
Bingo.

According to studies, nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.