List of Short Dirty Jokes

Looking for a bit of “adult” humor? Here you will find a compiled list of funny dirty jokes. These are short and easy to remember.

What do cars have in common with men?

They both sometimes have the ability to misfire.

A guy walks into an auto repair shop and asks, “Can you help remove this steering wheel stuck in my pants?”

The auto mechanic asks, “How'd it get there? And isn't it annoying?”

“Yes!” the man exclaimed. “It's driving me nuts.”

What's the difference between a coffin and a condom?

You go in one and come in the other.

An old married couple is getting ready for bed when the old woman lies on the floor.

“Why are you sleeping on the floor, for?” the old man asks.

The old woman replies, “Because I want to feel something hard for once!”

How are men like carpet?

Once you lay them right, you can walk all over them!

Did ya hear about the drugstore being robbed?

Somebody stole 100 bottles of Viagra.

The suspect is believed to be a hardened criminal!

What's worse for a man than having termites in his piano?

Crabs on his organ.

A man walks up one morning with a bad hangover.

“Honey, I know I really made a fool of myself last night at the party, I just can't remember what I did.”

“You got into a fight with your boss.”

“Piss on him, them!”

“You did, and he fired you.”

“I don't care! Screw him!”

“I did.” His wife said. “You can go back to work next week.”

One day a guy comes home from work early and finds his wife in bed with one of his buddies. Enraged, he grabs a gun and shot his buddy to death.

His wife scolded him: “You know, if you keep on like this, you're going to lose ALL your buddies.”

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television.

The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for three minutes!”

“Good.” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”